Oh joy! Mean old Stephen Harper wants to take away the opposition’s government hand-out, so they plan vote his party out and install a coalition of Canadians’ second, third and fourth choices to run the country.
As prime minister, we’ll have Stéphane Dion whose Green Shift platform was resoundingly rejected only a few weeks ago, and whose leadership was rejected by his own party. Supporting him will be Michael Ignatieff, whose love for Canada was so strong he spent most of the past 30 years living in another country, and Bob Rae whose last time in government was an unmitigated failure, leaving the province of Ontario virtually bankrupt.
But not to worry, the coalition will bring in that pompous socialist self-promoter Jack Layton whose NDP party has been rejected by Canadians for decades, leaving them without so much as a sniff of power federally since they were formed as the CCF party about 80 years ago. And supporting Layton is Gilles Duceppe—you know, Duceppe, he’s leader of the party that wants to tear Canada apart. I wonder what ministry they have in mind for him?
Here’s your lineup:
- Dion as prime minister
- Layton as finance minister
- Duceppe as minister of culture and inter-provincial affairs
- Ignatieff will head up foreign affairs
- Bob Rae will head up a new portfolio: budgeting and strategic planning.
And maybe they’ll appoint Elizabeth May to the Senate—she’ll never get into parliament any other way—and make her minister of the environment.